Planning your own memorial may not be something you think about often. But documenting your wishes can make an important difference for your family.
A written plan gives your loved ones a clear idea of what matters to you. It can also help reduce the number of decisions they need to make during an already difficult time.
Your wishes do not have to be complicated. A simple document can provide helpful guidance about the type of memorial you prefer, the information you want included, and the details that are important to you.
Why Document Your Memorial Wishes?
Families often have to make many decisions after a loved one's passing. Some decisions are practical. Others are deeply personal.
Without guidance, family members may have to guess what their loved one would have wanted.
Documenting your wishes gives them something to reference.
It can help your family understand your preferences for:
Memorial style
Granite color
Inscriptions
Artwork
Religious or military symbols
Cemetery location
Companion memorials
Memorial accessories
Future engraving
You can also update your wishes as your preferences change.
Start With the Basics
Begin with the information your family will need to identify the memorial and burial location.
This may include:
Your full name
Preferred cemetery
Cemetery section or lot information
Names of family members who may be included
Important family contacts
If you have already purchased a cemetery space, include any paperwork or information that can help your family locate the property.
It can also be helpful to keep cemetery documents with your memorial wishes.
Choose a Memorial Style
Think about the type of memorial you would like.
Some common options include:
Upright monuments
Flat markers
Bevel markers
Slant markers
Companion monuments
Memorial benches
Each style offers different design options and may be subject to cemetery rules.
If you are comparing different styles, Types of Headstones and Memorials: Understanding Your Options can help you get started.
For couples and families considering a shared memorial, Companion Headstones: A Guide for Couples and Families offers additional information.
Choose Your Granite
Granite is available in many colors and patterns. Your choice can have a significant effect on the appearance of the finished memorial.
Consider visiting a monument company to see granite samples in person. You may also want to note a preferred color in your written plan.
If you are still deciding, Granite Headstone Colors: Popular Choices for Iowa Families provides more information about common options.
Write Down Your Inscription Ideas
Your name and dates are the foundation of a memorial. You may also want to include an inscription that reflects your life, family, faith, or values.
Think about what you would want future generations to see when they visit your memorial.
You could include:
A favorite saying
A short message
Scripture
A family phrase
A nickname
A meaningful quotation
A statement about your family
You do not have to choose the final wording immediately.
For ideas, see What to Include on a Headstone: Name, Dates, and Beyond.
Consider Personal Details
Your memorial can reflect the things that mattered most to you.
Think about your hobbies, career, military service, faith, family traditions, or other important parts of your life.
For example, someone who loved fishing might choose an engraved fishing scene. A veteran may want a military emblem. Someone who loved gardening may choose floral artwork.
These details can give your family a starting point when creating your memorial.
Read Incorporating Hobbies and Passions into a Memorial for more ideas.
Decide What You Do Not Want
Your memorial wishes can include preferences about things you do not want, too.
Maybe you prefer a simple design. Perhaps you do not want a long inscription or certain types of artwork.
Writing these preferences down can help your family make decisions that feel consistent with your wishes.
A clear and simple design can also remain easy to read for generations. How to Personalize a Headstone Without Overcrowding the Design offers guidance on balancing personal details with a clean memorial design.
Think About Your Cemetery
Cemetery rules can affect the type of memorial you can choose.
Some cemeteries have requirements for:
Monument size
Memorial style
Granite or other materials
Foundations
Installation
Placement
Accessories
Before documenting a specific memorial choice, confirm the cemetery's requirements.
You can learn more in Understanding Cemetery Regulations Before Purchasing a Headstone and What to Know Before Ordering a Custom Headstone in Iowa.
Consider a Companion Memorial
If you are married or have family members who will share a cemetery space, you may want to document your preferences for a companion memorial.
You can make decisions about the overall design while you are able to participate.
A companion monument can include both names, shared artwork, individual inscriptions, and space for future engraving.
Documenting these wishes can make future decisions easier for the people you leave behind.
Share Your Wishes With Your Family
Writing down your wishes is helpful, but make sure your family knows where to find them.
Tell a trusted family member that you have documented your memorial preferences.
You may also want to discuss your ideas with them. This gives everyone an opportunity to ask questions and makes your wishes easier to understand.
If several family members will be involved in the memorial process, How Families Make Memorial Decisions Together offers ideas for having these conversations.
Keep Important Documents Together
Consider keeping your memorial wishes with other important documents.
This could include:
Cemetery paperwork
Pre-planning information
Insurance information
Estate planning documents
Contact information for family members
Monument company information
You can also keep a digital copy in a secure location.
Let a trusted family member know where the information is stored.
Review Your Wishes Over Time
Your memorial preferences can change.
You may move to a different area. Your family may change. You may develop new interests or decide that a different memorial style better reflects your wishes.
Review your plan every few years.
You can also update it after major life changes.
The goal is not to create a document that never changes. The goal is to give your family helpful guidance.
Pre-Planning Can Make the Process Easier
Some people choose to go a step further and pre-plan their memorial with a monument company.
Pre-planning gives you the opportunity to discuss design ideas, compare granite, review inscriptions, and ask questions before your family needs to make those decisions.
It can also give your family a better understanding of your wishes.
For additional planning guidance, read What to Bring to a Meeting with a Monument Company.
A Simple Plan Can Make a Difference
You do not need to make every memorial decision at once.
Start with the details that matter most. Write down your preferred cemetery, memorial style, granite color, inscription ideas, and personal design preferences.
Then share the information with someone you trust.
Documenting your memorial wishes is one way to give your family guidance and preserve your own voice in the memorial planning process.
At McCall Monument, we help Iowa families create meaningful memorials that reflect a person's life, values, and legacy. If you are ready to discuss your own memorial wishes, our team is here to answer questions and help you explore your options with care.
Have Questions or Ready to Begin?
We're here to help you honor your loved one with care and dignity. Reach out to our compassionate team for guidance or to schedule a consultation.
Contact McCall Monument